Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
