I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
