youre lurking in front of me
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
