the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
