he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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