why didn't you poke me back
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
My feet surprised me
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
