"it" just moved
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
