Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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