one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
MIDGETS
????
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
