there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
