The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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