come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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