smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza