Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
