Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
