I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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