I want to stick my p in your. b.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Randomize
