Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Gay?
German.
Pity.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
