Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
