Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
