theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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