is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
