I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
