In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
