Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
