Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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