Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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