can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
