I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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