if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
