I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
