yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize
