sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It's official drugs can't kill me
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
