I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
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