i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize