yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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