do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
