theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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