i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
handjob tips. give me some.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You made out with two different species that night
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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