Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
How does one acquire holy water?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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