just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
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My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
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You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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