Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
