I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
