Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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