She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm at about main and main street
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
