Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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