Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
