.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
