your thong is hanging out like whoa
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
not ubering you a puppy
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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