Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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