She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
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Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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