is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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