I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he shaved USA in his pubs
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize