Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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