Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
