I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
