I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
And then he peed in my hair
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