Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
